News & Stories
Dear Mom, this will be a different mother’s day for me, and not because I won’t plant my garden or hang out at some hip restaurant with my family. It will be different because I will not call you today to wish you a happy mother’s day. This is a first for me and it is a bit strange. I won’t even look for a gift last minute as I usually do, or send flowers in a crunch because I am the worst planner for birthdays and other holidays. Every year I pledge that I will get my card or gift in the mail to arrive before the day but it just doesn’t happen. I am trying to put it out of my mind and plan to have the day to myself, be a bit selfish and self-centered, sleep late and not have to think about planning anything for the day. That sounds like a cool Mother’s day, giving me time to reflect on the many mothers day celebrations I have enjoyed over the years with you. This mother’s day will be the first of many without you. It has been two months now. I don’t know if I will mourn this day or call all my friends who have lost their mother and wish them a beautifully reflective day to cherish the good mother memories. Either way, I will not get to call and say Happy Mother's Day to you but I will forever remember those sweet moments on the phone letting you know how great a mom you were.
Hey Beautiful ones, I have a photo shoot coming up and I am feeling a little anxious. Photo sessions are nothing new for me, I’ve been doing them for over 30 years and the photos are proof of how much fun we have. The best part is that I am behind the scene, I get to peek in the camera before the shot, give my creative input to what clothes, jewelry, and make-up is my favorite. I even get to be a perfectionist and spot that one hair out of place and then fix it. I have worked with amazing photographers, wardrobe wizards, make-up magicians and beautiful people who are beautiful without any of these photo props.
As I look back at the many pictures taken in these organically planned sessions the story stays the same. Creating images of women with natural hair and loving it. My most valuable work in all this is that I get to be an image-maker and thought leader shaping the power of the picture. Whether I am working with professional models, seasoned entertainers or first timers I know that a picture speaks volumes and can create a narrative in the viewer's mind. Whether the narrative is what I intend or not I get to give my take on what I know as true beauty.
So why am I feeling anxious now? Well, the camera is on me. I have been meaning to do current photos of me for some time. Honestly, I have been putting off doing photos of me for some time. In fact, can you believe the photo I use on facebook I have naturally black hair? Black hair is a long gone memory for me; I now have a head full of white hair. In real life, I am okay with it but in photos, it can be a bit misleading as if the hair is missing- somewhat of an illusion. Yeah, I am trying to talk myself out of it. What’s the worst that can happen, I don’t like the picture so I just don’t use it. Photographers have even assured me they know how to photograph a sister with big white hair. And I kind of believe them. I know it is not them but more me who prefers to be behind the camera rather than in front of it.
I believe a picture really says a lot about us, it captures a moment in time that we can look back on and remember the essence of who we were at that moment. Hopefully, it will move us closer to our truth hair, that’s what this is all about –right? Embracing our truth hair.
Well, I faced my Truth Hair and the fear of photographing it, so here you have it. How did I do? Tell me what makes you anxious about your hair in a photograph.
(Photo: CreateHER Stock)
My lovely natural ones, being a “natural head” means more than not putting chemicals on your hair. It means you must get to know your hair and its unique characteristics. It also means coming to terms with what is inside your head, such as your true feeling and expectations of your hair. Are you realistic?
During style consultations, I try to keep it real so that the journey is real. Women often have questions about how to have the hair they really don’t have. They show me pictures and I wonder are they seeing what I see because some hairstyles in photos are just not possible to duplicate on your head. I have even made the mistake of thinking I can do anything you request but I have come to terms with my own limitations. Truthful limitations. Guess what? It feels liberating.
I have three rules to help you face your truth hair and make the journey more real.
#1 Rule -- Be Open To Unpredictability.
All hair (unless buzz close to the head style), no matter what the natural texture is will have unpredictable outcomes. Some days it is perfect and other days we are panicking because it didn’t come out like the other day. While you can’t control the weather, or any external conditions that give your hair that cool unpredictability factor, you can control how you will think about it. I recommend you go with the flow of unpredictability.
#2 Rule – Do Not Speak the Language of Shame
Think and say good things about your hair and anyone that has hair like you. Culturally we have become fluent in the language of shaming our hair – i.e good hair, bad hair, nappy, kinky, beady and so on.
#3 Rule -- Admire Rather Than Desire.
Often times I hear women express their desire to have what someone else has. I look at whether it is really possible. If it is not possible then I suggest you admire the hairstyle and get the good energy that comes from that. It does not feel good to desire something that is not possible for you. While you are desiring what someone else has they may be admiring your loveliness.
With these three rules, your hair journey will be honest, beautiful and filled with many surprises. Surprise me and let me know about some of your fabulous unpredictable hair styles, and what you admire the most.